A Conversation on Loving People: An Interview on Authentic Connection, Networking, and Leadership

In today’s fast-paced, highly transactional world, a genuine human connection can often feel like a rare commodity. Whether in business, academia, or daily life, relationships are frequently reduced to a simple, unspoken question: “What is in it for me?” However, for Significant Seyi—a dynamic leader, public speaker, community builder, and former President of JCIN UNIBEN, the true currency of success is found in a completely different approach: intentionally loving people.

 

Known for his energetic nature and his unique ability to leave people feeling more loved than when he first met them, Seyi operates on a philosophy that prioritizes human dignity over utility. In this exclusive interview, Seyi opens up about the intersection of love and leadership. From the nuances of the “Platinum Rule” to the discipline of maintaining relationships, Seyi shares profound, actionable insights for anyone looking to build a network rooted in authenticity, empathy, and mutual growth.

 

Q1: In a world that often feels entirely transactional, how do you personally define “loving people”?

 

Significant Seyi: To put it simply, loving people means choosing to value their humanity beyond anything you stand to get from them. Today, many relationships are built around utility. People consciously or unconsciously ask, “How can you help me?” or “What can you do for me?”.

 

I have come to realize that authentic love begins exactly where utility ends. It means I am choosing to value and respect you even if you have absolutely nothing to offer me. It is the ability to celebrate someone when there is no audience watching, and to look after their well-being even when it does not directly benefit you. In a world obsessed with asking “What’s in it for me?”, ensuring people know you truly have them at heart before you ask for their hand is the cornerstone of genuine connection.

 

Q2: That is a beautiful philosophy, but how do we apply it? What are the practical steps to finding something to value in someone’s humanity, especially outside of their usefulness?

 

Significant Seyi: There are several practical ways to demonstrate this kind of love.

 

First, give them your attention. Attention is a currency, and it is one of the purest forms of value. When you stop what you are doing to truly engage in a conversation—like how I stepped away into a quiet room for this interview—you are showing that you deeply value that person’s time.

 

Second, respect people’s dignity regardless of their societal status. All humans are created equal. I strive to speak with the exact same level of courtesy to a cleaner or a gateman as I would to my boss or a team leader. True character is shown when you don’t discriminate based on someone’s perceived usefulness; you don’t talk down to someone just because they can’t do anything for you.

 

Third, practice what modern leadership calls the “Platinum Rule”. While the Golden Rule says, “Do unto others as you want them to do to you,” the Platinum Rule elevates this: “Treat others the way they want to be treated”. If I serve you food based on the portion that satisfies me, you might still be hungry. Instead, I need to learn what actually matters to you and what excites you.

 

Finally, keep your word and celebrate the little things. When you are reliable, people feel valued. And on celebrating the little things, I make it a point to reach out to people for their birthdays or milestones, even if we haven’t spoken in a year. For instance, I recently congratulated junior colleagues on their medical induction. Celebrating things that matter to others is a direct way to value their humanity.

 

Q3: Do you believe love is a feeling we passively wait for, or is it a discipline we must actively practice?

 

Significant Seyi: Love definitely starts as a feeling, but it will only survive as a discipline.

 

Feelings are beautiful, but they are incredibly unstable. There will be days when you are not excited, and if your love depends solely on emotion, it will disappear the moment you face an inconvenience. Love is shown through consistency, and that is exactly where discipline comes in.

 

Discipline is checking up on someone when you are tired, or telling them the truth even when it makes them uncomfortable. For example, I recently shared a professional opportunity with a junior colleague, and she only reacted with a casual emoji. It felt dismissive. A couple of days later she sought some clarity on a post I made and I had to seize that opportunity as I politely but firmly let her know how it felt, while giving clarification on the post. Loving people means you show up consistently, even when they make mistakes or hurt you, deciding not to just cast them away.

 

Q4: Speaking of showing up, you have an incredible reputation for being present in people’s lives. How do you manage to give that great first impression and show up for people even on your worst days?

 

Significant Seyi: Love requires showing up, sometimes at great personal inconvenience.

 

Recently, a friend invited me to her induction in Benin. I was working remotely, feeling incredibly reluctant to leave the house, and I easily could have sent her an excuse that she would have 100% understood. However, I realized that if I made the effort to go, even if I only stayed for 20 minutes, she would never forget that I was there on her special day. I went, took pictures with her and her father, and left before the food was even served. She was ecstatic.

 

I learned this from leaders who showed up for me. During my investiture as JCIN UNIBEN President, I invited Dr. Eddie. He was actually on a medical call that day, but he switched his shift, attended my event, and then went straight back to the hospital. That touched me deeply. When you experience that level of grace, it inspires you to show it to others. Whether people are celebrating in their highest moments or depressed in their lowest downtime, showing up is a very rare and unforgettable quality.

 

Q5: Has this habit of loving people been a major factor in your personal success, leadership, and public speaking journey?

 

Significant Seyi: Absolutely. Full stop. No comma. No question mark.

 

Almost every meaningful opportunity I have ever received in my career has come through relationships. I didn’t build these connections because I was trying to use people; I built them because I genuinely cared, helped, and served. The more I have learned to understand and support people, the more doors have opened for me naturally. Whether it is sales, public speaking, or building communities—leadership is entirely about people.

 

Q6: For many, giving people the opportunity to help is a form of love, but asking for help can trigger feelings of guilt. How do you ask for help without feeling guilty, especially from old contacts?

 

Significant Seyi: The root of this guilt is a massive misconception: we often believe that receiving help is a sign of weakness. It is not.

 

Human beings are not created to be self-sufficient; we are not “El Shaddai” (the all-sufficient God) or else you shall die. From the very act of breathing in oxygen and breathing out carbon dioxide, we are designed to be dependent on the world around us. Furthermore, helping others is one of the primary ways human beings express their purpose. When you refuse to ask for help, you are actually denying someone the opportunity to contribute to a cause.

 

To avoid guilt, you must ask from a place of partnership, not entitlement. I never assume anyone—not even my parents or siblings—owes me anything. When I ask, I am simply inviting them to contribute, and I graciously accept whether the answer is a yes or a no.

 

Additionally, you have to service your relationships. Relationship is about giving and receiving. If you only reach out to people out of the blue when you want to take something from them, it feels exploitative. If you consistently service the relationship—even by just wishing them a happy birthday when you need nothing—people will naturally gravitate toward you and want to help you.

 

Q7: You pour so much energy into others. How do you recharge your own emotional battery when you feel exhausted?

 

Significant Seyi: You cannot continuously pour from an empty cup and expect quality to come out. Even those of us who constantly pour into others need a place to refill.

 

For me, solitude is absolutely crucial. I step away from the noise to reflect, pray, read, and evaluate my life choices.

 

Equally important is surrounding myself with people who allow me to be a normal human being, not just a leader or a public figure. Most people know me as “Significant Seyi the Host” or “Significant Seyi the President,” but I have a few close friends and mentors who just know me as Seyi the person. Recently, I had a 40-minute conversation with a former boss that was entirely focused on my personal journey through adulthood. Having spaces where I can be myself without performing or being too careful is how I recharge.

 

Q8: As a leader, you interact with people who have vastly different values from you. How do you maintain these friendships without enabling behaviors you disagree with?

 

Significant Seyi: As you rise in leadership, you will inevitably meet people with diverse views. The key is understanding the difference between grace and enablement. Grace is giving people room to grow; enablement is giving people permission to remain exactly the same.

 

Love does not mean pretending that wrong is right. If a close friend is making a destructive decision, loving them means helping them become better. I will respectfully tell them, “I love you, but I cannot support you on this decision,” because I care more about their future than giving them temporary approval.

 

On a broader level, when I interact with acquaintances whose values don’t align with mine—for example, professionals who smoke or engage in habits I don’t share—I simply respect their humanity without bending to their influence. You can respect someone and treat them well without adopting their lifestyle. If everyone in the world were exactly like you, it would be a very boring place.

 

Q9: Is there a place in a healthy relationship to step back and reduce access if a person is pulling you down, even if you still love them?

 

Significant Seyi: Yes. Love and access are not always the same thing.

 

You can genuinely love someone—what the Greeks call Agape love—but realize that for various reasons, continuing to be closely related is no longer wise or healthy. Perhaps you are no longer heading in the same direction, or the dynamic has changed.

 

Creating distance does not mean you are bitter or resentful. You can still pray for them, celebrate their growth, and wish them well from afar. Maturity is recognizing that relationships evolve, and they don’t have to exist in the same form forever. It is perfectly okay to give people space if proximity becomes destructive.

 

Q10: Finally, if you could give advice to your younger self—or to young students like me preparing to graduate—about networking and maintaining relationships, what would it be?

 

Significant Seyi: My biggest piece of advice is: Do not just build a network; build genuine relationships.

 

Many of us are so robotic today, networking with hidden agendas, always wondering what someone can offer us. Stop doing that. Have conversations without an agenda. Learn to check up on people when you need absolutely nothing from them. Celebrate people before they become famous or successful; when they finally achieve greatness, you will hold a special place in their heart because you believed in them during their ordinary times.

 

Think of friendship like a garden. If you do not intentionally care for it, prune the flowers, and water it, it will not bloom.

 

The older you get, the more you will realize that life’s greatest blessing isn’t just what you achieve, but who you get to share that journey with. Treat people like the true assets they are.